2003-08-15 / 1:16 a.m.

They say you ca't go home again. They tell lies. I said no.

It may be the Aimee Mann... I miss people. Or maybe I miss generalities. Pop-ins and closeness and inside stuff and fleeting feelings of permanence.

I've got good things going on in my life right now. On my hilltop away from this steam. And I wouldn't change it. Driving down tonight I realized, I'm never going to live here again. Not for more than a week or two. I need elevation and curves and not salt water. But I miss Stephen and Jess and EO's and fighting with Robby and being chased by Greg and talking to my mom every day and those weekend pop-ins from Ashley and Amanda and crew... I want everyone I love and everything I enjoy to happen over and over again all the time. Is that asking too much?

Well, of course it is. But who would I be if I didn't ask too much?

Speaking of such things... I'm forcing my mummy to read Franny and Zooey. I'll use every guilt trip trick she taught me. She must know Zooey to know me, I've decided. Buddy.

There was Bryan chatter. I didn't mean to; I got excited. He called to ask me how the cat was, for God's sake; I can't resist that. He did it on purpose. He has to make things difficult.

Tomorrow I'll see Mari and Biloxi and my mom and... I ought to go to bed but I'm notsure I can right now.

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