2003-10-24 / 3:27 p.m.

last may this idiot with an md sprayed liquid nitrogen somewhere i'd have prefered he didn't, in the interest of pissing off some mutated cells and causing their exodus from my body to the exam table's paper sheet. it hurt. he said it doesn't hurt. i said you don't do it right, you suck. i went away; came here; got lectured for medical irresponsibility by mumsies and got a new doctor, from france who has a funny beard and chews gum. new tests. new positive result; positive in, of course, the bad way. nurse calls, "cryo didn't work, we need to do something InVaSiVe." i don't know what your idea of invasive is, lady, but having some man blow chemicals into my most cherished body cavity just about does it for me. what the fuck do you want from me now? hmmm. i want to know what poseses a man to go to his whatever you call the guy at a college that bosses you around and say, you know what i wanna do, is have my hand in vaginas all day long; not normal ones, but sickly ones; i think that would be fabulous. i'm afraid of all these guys.

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