2004-01-03 / 9:36 a.m.

I've always held that suffering from depression just cause your brain says so must be much more terrible than suffering because hellish things are happening; I was convinced totally that having something prompt sobbing, gagging fits must make you feel kinda justified and therefore not as bad. And I was wrong. I was very wrong. I'll take my soul-crushing depressive episodes back now, please; this real life event pain is going to kill me.

That was figurative killing. For now. I refuse to participate in a universe that lets me have him for five months and then takes him away. I won't do it. So I better get him back on time, damnit.

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